{"alias":"blogEntry","byline":"Words: Annabel Rose | Illustration: Pui Lee at Scout Editions","standfirst":"Self-care is about \u2018looking after yourself as a whole; emotional and mental health too\u2019, explains Suzy Reading, a chartered psychologist, author, and wellbeing expert.","content":{"layouts":[{"type":"singleColumn","areas":[{"items":[{"gridType":"RichTextBlock","content":"\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EPractising self-care makes us more resilient, and equips us to deal with curveballs life throws our way. It looks different for everyone \u2013 there\u2019s no right way to do it.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003ESelf-care isn\u2019t always appealing. As well as what you need right now, it involves acknowledging whether your choices will take your future self closer to where you want to be. \u2018Sometimes the true act of self-care is the thing you least feel like doing,\u2019 Suzy explains. If you\u2019ve had a rubbish day, it can be tempting to barricade yourself in your room with some ice cream \u2013 but it\u2019s often better to go to Scouts, see friends, and get stuck into the fun.\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EIt isn\u2019t always about big, life-changing actions, either \u2013 sometimes it\u2019s about small things that make a rubbish day seem not so bad. Despite what you often hear, it doesn\u2019t have to involve pampering, and it doesn\u2019t have to be expensive \u2013 there are plenty of simple things you can do that don\u2019t have to cost a penny. Of course, self-care isn\u2019t a replacement for professional mental health care and support. Self-care may help someone, regardless of what\u2019s happening in their life, but it isn\u2019t always enough \u2013 and that\u2019s OK. If you think you might need more support, reach out to your GP or a charity such as \u003Ca href=\u0022https://www.mind.org.uk/\u0022\u003EMind\u003C/a\u003E.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0 \u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EIdentifying what we need can be challenging. We\u2019ve all been there \u2013 arriving home exhausted at the end of the day, or waking up in a bad mood, but not knowing what to do to feel better. \u2018When we need self-care the most, that\u2019s when it\u2019s hard to put your finger on something nourishing,\u2019 says Suzy. It doesn\u2019t matter whether you\u2019re in Beavers or an adult volunteer \u2013 \u2018once you\u2019ve got a well-articulated toolkit, self-care gets really simple.\u2019\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E","gtmId":"","gtmClass":""}]}],"config":null},{"type":"mediaBlock","areas":[{"items":[{"gridType":"gridImageBlock","gtmId":"gtmId","gtmClass":"gtmClass","image":"/media/4686/scout_org_bloomingfaces-1.jpg","width":1968,"height":2066,"altText":"","caption":"","link":null}]}],"config":null},{"type":"singleColumn","areas":[{"items":[{"gridType":"RichTextBlock","content":"\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003EStep by step\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/strong\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003ESuzy developed a model to help people identify practical ways to take care of themselves. The model has eight sections and is based in positive psychology (which studies what makes life worth living). It adapts an existing model, adding things like movement and nutrition. Suzy encourages people to have fun with the model \u2013 plenty of self-care techniques spill across a few sections of it, and you can rename them, focus on your favourites, or add your own.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EWe\u2019ll explore four sections of Suzy\u2019s model, but it\u2019s easy to see how they\u2019re all part of Scouts. We set and accomplish goals by working towards \u003Ca href=\u0022https://scouts.org.uk/scouts/activity-badges/\u0022\u003Ebadges\u003C/a\u003E and \u003Ca href=\u0022https://scouts.org.uk/scouts/awards/\u0022\u003Eawards\u003C/a\u003E, and we certainly have plenty of social connections in and between groups \u2013 and with the wider community too.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EThe final thing to acknowledge before we get stuck in is that self-care is harder for some people than others. We\u2019ve tried to include accessible tips, but there are lots of reasons some people find it harder to access self-care (for example, disadvantage or discrimination).\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E","gtmId":"","gtmClass":""}]}],"config":null},{"type":"mediaBlock","areas":[{"items":[{"gridType":"gridImageBlock","gtmId":"gtmId","gtmClass":"gtmClass","image":"/media/4687/scout_org_sun_fruit.jpg","width":2997,"height":2194,"altText":"","caption":"","link":null}]}],"config":null},{"type":"singleColumn","areas":[{"items":[{"gridType":"RichTextBlock","content":"\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003EEat and move\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/strong\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EIt\u2019s pretty obvious that how we eat and move affects our health \u2013 but it\u2019s important for our mental and emotional wellbeing, too.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EEating to take care of ourselves isn\u2019t just about getting our five a day (although that\u2019s important too). Our bodies are extremely clever \u2013 hormones and neurotransmitters such as ghrelin and neuropeptide Y tell us what we need by making us hungry (or increasing our appetite for carbs). We can help by recognising when we feel hungry, figuring out what we need (whether it\u2019s a vegetable, another spoonful of rice, or something sweet to finish off a meal), and honouring those needs.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EIt can also be useful to think about how you eat. If you often find yourself grabbing food on the go to scoff as quickly as possible between meetings, it might be worth thinking about how you can listen to what your body wants, and enjoy food, as well as the social connections it can bring.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003ESimilarly, intuitive movement is about developing a peaceful and enjoyable relationship with exercise. It isn\u2019t about exercising to change the way your body looks, and it isn\u2019t about anything you \u2018should\u2019 be doing. It\u2019s about seeing how different ways of moving make us feel, listening to our bodies, and figuring out what works best for us.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EThere are lots of different ways to move; you don\u2019t necessarily need to find a football club or sign up to run a marathon. The adventures Scouts embrace include lots of different ways to be active, so everyone (including leaders) can find something that gets their heart beating. For some people that\u2019s sport \u2013 but for others, \u003Ca href=\u0022/activities/identify-different-garden-tools/\u0022 title=\u0022Tool it right\u0022\u003Edigging the garden\u003C/a\u003E, \u003Ca href=\u0022https://scouts.org.uk/activities/play-maracas-for-the-brazilian-carnival/\u0022\u003Edancing around their bedroom\u003C/a\u003E, \u003Ca href=\u0022https://scouts.org.uk/activities/while-out-walking/\u0022\u003Ewalking to school\u003C/a\u003E, or \u003Ca href=\u0022https://scouts.org.uk/activities/team-tidy/\u0022\u003Ehoovering their hallway\u003C/a\u003E are the ways of moving that make their bodies (and minds) feel best. Why not give something new a try, then take some time to check in with how it made your body and mind feel?\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E","gtmId":"","gtmClass":""}]}],"config":null},{"type":"mediaBlock","areas":[{"items":[{"gridType":"gridImageBlock","gtmId":"gtmId","gtmClass":"gtmClass","image":"/media/4688/scout_org_flower_abstractshapes.jpg","width":1737,"height":1929,"altText":"","caption":"","link":null}]}],"config":null},{"type":"singleColumn","areas":[{"items":[{"gridType":"RichTextBlock","content":"\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003ESleep, relax and breathe\u003C/strong\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EIt can be difficult to relax when we\u2019re more connected than ever. Both mindfulness and meditation stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system \u2013 a bundle of nerves that calms down our \u2018fight or flight\u2019 response and makes sure our bodies get on with everyday functions such as digestion.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EWe spoke to Emily Mitchell, Programmes Manager (and teacher) at \u003Ca href=\u0022https://www.londonmindful.com/\u0022\u003EThe Mindfulness Project\u003C/a\u003E. She says, \u2018Jon Kabat-Zinn defined mindfulness as paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgementally.\u2019 Mindfulness was originally developed to help people manage chronic pain. Now, evidence suggests it can help us reduce and manage stress. It also helps us connect and be aware of our bodies, whether we notice an aching knee or a feeling of lingering anger.\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EEmily advises that anyone leading a full session should be trained, but says people can introduce some really short things, such as \u2018FOFBOC\u2019 \u2013 sitting noticing the feeling of \u2018feet on floor, bum on chair\u2019, or noticing a few deep breaths.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EIt can be tricky to introduce these concepts, especially with younger Scouts. Some people use a cuddly toy: lie on the floor and put the toy on your stomach, then notice how it moves up and down depending on your breathing.\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EMeredith Whitely has a job many of us could only dream of \u2013 her business, \u003Ca href=\u0022https://foodatheart.co.uk/\u0022\u003EFood At Heart\u003C/a\u003E, \u2018blends meditation, mindfulness\u2026 and chocolate\u2019. She uses chocolate as a tool to help people slow down and enjoy a moment, and says it\u2019s something leaders could run with Scouts of all ages. It doesn\u2019t have to take long, and Meredith explains that while a lot of children are open to trying dark chocolate, you can choose what you use (or compare a few). \u2018Chocolate works especially well because its flavours are so complex, but in theory you could use any food that you like,\u2019 she says.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EOnce everyone has some chocolate, \u2018start with the eyes, because sight is the fastest sense to process\u2019. Move slowly though touch, hearing (try breaking the chocolate), smell, and taste. Give people time to think about how they\u2019re feeling, how challenging it is, what they notice, and how they\u2019d describe it. \u2018Some people actually taste in colour,\u2019 Meredith says, while \u2018some people pick out particular flavours, some are reminded of a holiday they\u2019ve been on.\u2019\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u2018Some people find it slightly torturous to eat the chocolate so slowly,\u2019 she says, \u2018but that\u2019s OK, that\u2019s part of the practice as well.\u2019 And Meredith\u2019s top tip? Use plates and napkins, unless you want it to melt all over your hands. \u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003EHappiness\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/strong\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EThe goal of self-care isn\u2019t to be happy all the time, but it can be useful to be aware of small things that can boost your mood. They could be as simple as putting on a favourite pair of socks, appreciating some beautiful flowers, or repeating words that mean something to you. Certain skills can also help us enjoy our lives and the world around us.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EOne of Suzy\u2019s favourites is savouring something \u2013 throwing ourselves into an enjoyable moment and giving it all of our attention. For Scouts, this could look like paying special attention to the scenery on a hike, the way flavours combine in a backwoods meal, or a game making them feel connected to their team. \u2018The great thing about savouring\u2019, says Suzy, \u2018is that you can savour the past by reminiscing, or you can savour the future by anticipating.\u2019 Deliberately practising savouring means we\u2019re prepared for when we need it most \u2013 whether that\u2019s when we find ourselves unexpectedly caught up in laughter (or a delicious piece of cake), or when we\u2019ve had a bad day and need to take a moment to savour a memory, hope, or dream.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EGratitude is another self-care skill. As well as \u003Ca href=\u0022https://scouts.org.uk/activities/great-to-be-grateful/\u0022\u003Ethanking people for specific things\u003C/a\u003E, gratitude can also be a thankful feeling \u003Ca href=\u0022https://scouts.org.uk/activities/link-up/\u0022\u003Etowards the world (or a higher being\u003C/a\u003E, if that\u2019s your sort of thing). Some people keep a gratitude journal and note down a few things they\u2019re thankful for each day, to help them get into the habit of noticing the good. This doesn\u2019t have to mean buying an expensive new journal: a notebook you already own, a few scraps of paper, or even a note on your phone will do. As a group, you could try a gratitude scavenger hunt where people search for something they enjoy looking at, something that reminds them of their friends, something that makes them laugh, and a gift for someone.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EThese skills won\u2019t magically fix things \u2013 but that\u2019s not what self-care is about. Self-care is about taking care of ourselves, topping up our energy, and finding things that carry us through when life isn\u2019t going our way.\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E","gtmId":"","gtmClass":""}]}],"config":null},{"type":"mediaBlock","areas":[{"items":[{"gridType":"gridImageBlock","gtmId":"gtmId","gtmClass":"gtmClass","image":"/media/4689/scout_org_colourwheel-1.jpg","width":3308,"height":2153,"altText":"","caption":"","link":null}]}],"config":null},{"type":"singleColumn","areas":[{"items":[{"gridType":"RichTextBlock","content":"\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003ECoping skills\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/strong\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003ECoping skills are as diverse as the people who use them \u2013 different approaches and techniques work for everyone. When things go wrong, or change unexpectedly, coping skills help us deal with the situation and our feelings. Especially when working with young people, we can find ourselves \u2018wanting to remove difficult emotions\u2019, says Suzy. \u2018When we do that, I feel that we actually do them a disservice, because there is a time and a place for all emotion.\u2019\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EWhile not all emotions are pleasant, they usually have a purpose \u2013 anger, for example, may help us stand up for ourselves and our values, while sadness can remind us of what\u2019s important. As adults, we can listen to what young people are telling (and often, showing) us, and help them to identify, express and move through emotions.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EThe first thing to do is to acknowledge feelings. Emotional literacy \u2013 the ability to understand and express our emotions \u2013 is a skill that develops with age. Leaders can help people begin to identify emotions: if someone tells you that their craft just won\u2019t stay stuck together, you could say \u2018that sounds really frustrating\u2019, and if someone comes running into the session, grinning and talking non-stop, you could suggest they \u2018seem very excited\u2019. Thinking about how the characters in a story may feel, or acting out emotions for others to guess, can help people develop the tools they need to name their feelings.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EExpressing emotions is another important skill that comes with age, as we learn strategies such as taking a breath and counting to three when we\u2019re frustrated, angry or anxious \u003Cbr /\u003E(or using words or drawings to show others how we\u2019re feeling). It can be useful for leaders to look out for (and praise) young people using positive strategies. With time, we can start thinking about whether an emotion (and its intensity) is appropriate \u2013 but \u2018we can get more into that as children get older\u2019, Suzy explains. \u2018It\u2019s age appropriate.\u2019\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EOnce we\u2019ve acknowledged, named and expressed a feeling, we can start to move through it, making space for other feelings. \u2018Emotional agility\u2019 describes the ability to do this. We can help young people notice that emotions (bad and good) don\u2019t last forever, and that their personalities are not defined by their emotions. For example, notice how someone felt anxious before getting in a canoe, but now they feel proud and tired \u2013 or how someone felt angry and frustrated at their teammates, but now they feel calmer and happy because the game was fun.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E","gtmId":"","gtmClass":""}]}],"config":null},{"type":"mediaBlock","areas":[{"items":[{"gridType":"gridImageBlock","gtmId":"gtmId","gtmClass":"gtmClass","image":"/media/4690/scout_org_flower_hand.jpg","width":1954,"height":2002,"altText":"","caption":"","link":null}]}],"config":null},{"type":"singleColumn","areas":[{"items":[{"gridType":"RichTextBlock","content":"\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003EFinding the time\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/strong\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EThis is all well and good, you might be thinking, but when am I supposed to find the time for self-care? Sometimes self-care can \u2018feel like it\u2019s less important than \u201Cdoing stuff\u201D\u2019, says Meredith, \u2018especially in secondary school when you\u2019ve got exams and tests going on, it\u2019s easy to dismiss it\u2019.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003ECall time on an unhelpful habit (such as mindlessly watching sitcom repeats, or scrolling through online listings for things you can\u2019t afford), and take care of yourself instead. \u2018I used to wake up and check emails or social media,\u2019 says Meredith. Now, she meditates. \u2018Rather than trying to add more to my day, I\u2019ve taken out stuff that wasn\u2019t helping, and put something better in.\u2019\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EFinally, you can add self-care to your life by fitting it into your everyday activities. \u2018How can you do those things with a greater sense of tenderness, or kindness, or awareness?\u2019 Suzy asks.\u003Cspan class=\u0022Apple-converted-space\u0022\u003E\u00A0\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EIt might be as simple as noticing the flavours in your dinner or enjoying a friend\u2019s company, or it could be making an effort to be more compassionate towards your body as you use a nice soap in the shower. These things don\u2019t take extra time \u2013 they just allow us to show ourselves the kindness we need (and deserve) in the everyday\u2026 because we all need a bit of extra kindness sometimes.\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E","gtmId":"","gtmClass":""}]}],"config":null}]},"searchDescription":null,"pageType":null,"location":null,"versionDate":"12 November 2019","reviewDate":null,"furtherReading":[],"relatedLinks":[],"id":48476,"nodeName":"How to be kind to yourself","title":"How to be kind to yourself ","type":"blogEntry","image":{"url":"/media/4689/scout_org_colourwheel-1.jpg?width=800\u0026height=450\u0026v=1d9becd2eebf8d0","caption":"Scout Org Colourwheel 1","type":"jpg","size":2034246,"width":3308,"height":2153,"altText":""},"assets":null,"headerOptions":{"headerTitle":"How to be kind to yourself ","headerSubTitle":null,"headerCta":null,"headerCtaText":null,"headerCtaLink":null,"headerBackgroundColour":null,"showSEOImage":false,"headerBackgroundImage":null,"quickLinks":null},"subHeader":"We gathered expert advice about what self-care and mindfulness are, how they can help mental health, and how they fit in to Scouts.","browserTitle":null,"silktide":"eyJjbXMiOiJVbWJyYWNvIiwiZWRpdG9yVXJsIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9wcm9kLWNtcy5zY291dHMub3JnLnVrLy91bWJyYWNvIy9jb250ZW50L2NvbnRlbnQvZWRpdC80ODQ3NiJ9","canonicalUrl":"https://www.scouts.org.uk/news/2019/november/how-to-be-kind-to-yourself/"}