{"content":{"layouts":[{"type":"sidebar","areas":[{"items":[{"gridType":"RichTextBlock","content":"\u003Cp\u003EIt\u2019s important you prepare for the conversation. It\u2019ll help you think about what you\u2019d like to achieve, recognise your emotions, and see things from the other person\u2019s perspective.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBy preparing well, the conversation is more likely to go smoothly, get you to the right outcomes, and be a positive experience for everyone.\u003C/p\u003E","gtmId":"","gtmClass":""},{"gridType":"RichTextBlock","content":"\u003Ch3\u003ETake some time to self-reflect\u003C/h3\u003E","gtmId":"","gtmClass":""},{"gridType":"accordion","gtmId":"","gtmClass":"","showExpand":false,"items":[{"gridType":"accordionItem","gtmId":"","gtmClass":"","body":"\u003Cp\u003EWork out what the problem is and make sure your reason for speaking to the other person is clear in your head. You might intend to offer support, but then realise you\u2019re being too critical.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ETry to start the conversation with your purpose in mind. Be supportive and clear, so the other person understands.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhat you\u2019d like to achieve from the conversation could be as simple as seeing things from each other\u2019s point of view, or deciding on actions together.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EGo into the conversation believing it\u2019ll be successful. Make sure you\u2019re clear on what actions you\u2019ll accept (and won\u2019t accept) to solve the issue.\u003C/p\u003E","label":"The reasons and goals for the conversation"},{"gridType":"accordionItem","gtmId":"","gtmClass":"","body":"\u003Cp\u003EYou might find it useful to get support from your Lead Volunteer or Team Leader or from another team member. They can support you through this challenging situation and offer a space for you to vent. As part of your preparation, see if you can share your thoughts with them.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYou might like to invite them to the meeting to observe or take notes (if needed), so you can focus on the conversation.\u003C/p\u003E","label":"The support you might need"},{"gridType":"accordionItem","gtmId":"","gtmClass":"","body":"\u003Cp\u003EIt can be daunting to have a constructive conversation, so check you\u2019re in the right state of mind. Try to remain calm and believe you\u2019re doing the right thing. \u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ERemember \u2013 by having this conversation now, you could prevent a situation from getting worse, and end up with a better outcome for everyone.\u003C/p\u003E","label":"The right state of mind"}]},{"gridType":"RichTextBlock","content":"\u003Cp\u003E\u00A0 \u00A0\u00A0\u003C/p\u003E","gtmId":"","gtmClass":""},{"gridType":"RichTextBlock","content":"\u003Ch3\u003EPrepare the other person\u003C/h3\u003E","gtmId":"","gtmClass":""},{"gridType":"accordion","gtmId":"","gtmClass":"","showExpand":false,"items":[{"gridType":"accordionItem","gtmId":"","gtmClass":"","body":"\u003Cp\u003ELet the other person know you\u2019d like to talk to them and why.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf you\u0027re not sure about how to approach the other person, you might find these conversation openers useful:\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cul\u003E\n\u003Cli\u003EI need your help with what just happened. Do you have a few minutes to talk?\u003C/li\u003E\n\u003Cli\u003EI need your help with something. Can we talk about it (soon)?\u003C/li\u003E\n\u003Cli\u003EI think we have different perspectives on ______________. I\u2019d like to hear your thinking on this. When is the best time for us to talk?\u003C/li\u003E\n\u003Cli\u003EI\u2019d be great if we could reach a better understanding about ___________. I really want to hear your thoughts about this and share my perspective as well. Can we talk about it on ______?\u003C/li\u003E\n\u003C/ul\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EDepending on the reason for the conversation, you could suggest they bring someone they trust.\u003C/p\u003E","label":"How to approach the other person"},{"gridType":"accordionItem","gtmId":"","gtmClass":"","body":"\u003Cp\u003ESuggest a place to meet where you both feel comfortable and have no distractions. This could be your usual meeting place outside your regular meeting time, or another public space where you can have some privacy and not be interrupted.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWhen you agree a time to meet, make sure you have enough time to share your views and chat about a way forward.\u003C/p\u003E","label":"Agree a safe place and time"}]},{"gridType":"RichTextBlock","content":"\u003Cp\u003E\u00A0 \u00A0 \u00A0\u003C/p\u003E","gtmId":"","gtmClass":""},{"gridType":"RichTextBlock","content":"\u003Ch3\u003EPlan the conversation\u003C/h3\u003E","gtmId":"","gtmClass":""},{"gridType":"accordion","gtmId":"","gtmClass":"","showExpand":false,"items":[{"gridType":"accordionItem","gtmId":"","gtmClass":"","body":"\u003Cp\u003EDepending on your reason for the conversation, you might need to chat with other people first, or remind yourself of key processes and policies.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf the conversation is about an incident or the person\u2019s behaviour, make sure you give specific examples or details.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EMake sure you have the facts, rather than people\u2019s opinions or rumours.\u003C/p\u003E","label":"Gather the information you need"},{"gridType":"accordionItem","gtmId":"","gtmClass":"","body":"\u003Cp\u003EThink about how you\u2019ll explain your view usefully and clearly. Let the other person know you want to hear their thoughts, as well as share yours, and decide on a way forward together.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EBe mindful that some words could sound accusing or condescending. The words you choose might trigger certain reactions and emotions.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EPractise what you\u2019ll say, and when you have your plan, it\u2019s a good idea to write it down.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EYou don\u2019t need to share your plan with anyone, but it can help if you talk it through or practice the conversation with someone you trust.\u003C/p\u003E","label":"Practise the language you\u2019ll use"},{"gridType":"accordionItem","gtmId":"","gtmClass":"","body":"\u003Cp\u003EYour background always plays a role in how you act and communicate.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EDepending on your age, gender, race, cultural and social background, you might express yourself, see things and understand information in a different way to the person you\u2019re having the conversation with. Think about how these possible differences might influence your conversation. \u00A0\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EA good tip is to be as clear as possible. Express your thoughts explicitly. Using expressions, jargons and metaphors could confuse and mislead people, and your message might not come across how you planned.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf someone has a different background or identity to yourself, it is even more important to ask their understanding of the situation so you are able to work from the same page.\u003C/p\u003E","label":"Be mindful of different backgrounds"},{"gridType":"accordionItem","gtmId":"","gtmClass":"","body":"\u003Cp\u003ETake time to think about how you deal with conflict and what your triggers are. This can help you better prepare for what they have to say.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThink about the different outcomes of this conversation and try to plan for different responses. Think broadly about how the conversation might go.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe other person could say something you\u2019re not expecting, so it\u2019s good to think about what you might say. For example:\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cul\u003E\n\u003Cli\u003EThat\u2019s interesting, I hadn\u2019t thought about that. Could you tell me a bit more?\u003C/li\u003E\n\u003Cli\u003EI\u2019ll need a little time to think about that. Can we come back to it later?\u003C/li\u003E\n\u003C/ul\u003E","label":"Managing their response"},{"gridType":"accordionItem","gtmId":"","gtmClass":"","body":"\u003Cp\u003EThink about your next steps after the conversation. For example, how much time you\u2019ll need for actions afterwards, any other meetings you might need, and when you\u2019ll document the conversation (if needed).\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ERemember, both of you could need support after having the conversation. Why not suggest the other person talks to a closer team member about it, or you could ask another team member to check in with them?\u003C/p\u003E","label":"What happens afterwards"},{"gridType":"accordionItem","gtmId":"","gtmClass":"","body":"\u003Cp\u003EDecide if there are any short term changes you\u2019ll need to put in place locally. For example, arranging cover if the other person won\u2019t be carrying on their role. Also, how you\u2019ll support others that could be affected by the outcome and what you\u2019ll need to do to manage people\u2019s views. This includes what, how and who you\u2019ll communicate with.\u003C/p\u003E","label":"Managing the wider impact"}]}]},{"items":[{"value":"https://player.vimeo.com/video/712028982?h=480877b760\u0026amp;app_id=122963","gridType":"embed","gtmId":"gtmId","gtmClass":"gtmClass"},{"type":"Promo","cta":"","body":"\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EWatch the interviews to get some tips on how to deal with difficult situations.\u003C/span\u003E\u003C/p\u003E","link":null,"colour":"#f1f1f1","title":"Dealing with difficult situations","image":null,"imageFocus":"","imageId":0,"imageKey":"00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000","imageCrop":"","gridType":"card","gtmId":"","gtmClass":""},{"gridType":"accordion","gtmId":"","gtmClass":"","showExpand":false,"items":[{"gridType":"accordionItem","gtmId":"","gtmClass":"","body":"\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003ELiz Walker, County Commissioner, Hertfordshire\u003C/strong\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ETwo members of a team clearly had different points of view, but were both really valuable members of Scouting. So really trying to get them both, and it was a difficult conversation, but get them to understand the other person\u2019s point of view and also what it meant to me, and actually moving forward as a team.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo speaking to each of them individually, but then the really difficult thing of speaking to them together in one room, and getting each of them to see the other\u2019s point of view, and not leaving any ground untouched.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003EAbdulmukith Ahmed, Group Scout Leader, East London\u003C/strong\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EThe way I would deal with complaints would be first listen to the person get it written down, speak to the other side involved, get their version written down as well. So there\u2019s a paper trail of what\u2019s happening. And after that, I have a meeting with both of them, and try to solve the issue there.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EIf it\u2019s something I can\u2019t do, then I\u2019ll get other people involved, whether it\u2019s people above me \u2013 my manager, like the District Commissioner, or other group leaders who might be in a better situation to advise me on how to deal with this issue, and just keeping both sides up to date with what\u2019s happening, so they don\u0027t feel like \u2018I\u2019ve said my version, and what\u2019s going to happen, and I\u2019m not hearing back.\u2019 The last thing you want is to make them feel like they\u2019ve said it, and there\u2019s no outcome. You want that resolved.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003EAmir Cheema, District Commissioner, Brunel\u003C/strong\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EWithin all of this, we\u2019ve got to remember \u2018Why are we doing Scouting?\u2019 It\u2019s for the young people, and that\u2019s the bottom line.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EFrom a belief system, how I approach conflict is \u2013 I believe everyone is trying their best with the resources they have with them. And that\u2019s what they\u2019re trying. When I approach the people, I\u2019m thinking \u2018what\u2019s their best positive intention?\u2019 from what they\u2019re trying to do and achieve. Same talking to the other party, \u2018what\u2019s their positive intention?\u2019 By understanding both of those, then we can come to a resolution.\u003C/p\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI believe that you can do anything. And as Scouts, obviously, we can do anything.\u003C/p\u003E","label":"Video transcript"}]},{"type":"Promo","cta":"Download preparation sheet PDF","body":"\u003Cp\u003EThe preparation sheet helps you gather your thoughts, plan and structure your conversation.\u003C/p\u003E","link":{"name":null,"id":null,"url":"https://prod-cms.scouts.org.uk/media/18653/constructive-conversations-preparation-sheet.pdf","newWindow":false,"target":"_blank"},"colour":"#002f6c","title":"Preparation sheet","image":null,"imageFocus":"","imageId":0,"imageKey":"00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000","imageCrop":"","gridType":"card","gtmId":"","gtmClass":""},{"type":"Promo","cta":"","body":"\u003Cul\u003E\n\u003Cli\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022/volunteers/running-things-locally/recruiting-and-managing-volunteers/suspensions/\u0022 title=\u0022Suspensions\u0022\u003ESuspensions\u003C/a\u003E\u003C/li\u003E\n\u003Cli\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022/volunteers/running-things-locally/recruiting-and-managing-volunteers/review-process/\u0022 title=\u0022Review Process\u0022\u003EReview Process\u003C/a\u003E\u003C/li\u003E\n\u003Cli\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022/about-us/policy/complaints-and-handling-personal-data/\u0022 title=\u0022Complaints and handling personal data\u0022\u003EComplaints\u003C/a\u003E\u003C/li\u003E\n\u003Cli\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022/about-us/policy/safeguarding-policy-and-procedures/\u0022 title=\u0022Safeguarding Policy and Procedures\u0022\u003ESafeguarding Policy\u003C/a\u003E\u003C/li\u003E\n\u003Cli\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022/about-us/policy/volunteer-anti-bullying-and-harassment-policy-procedures/\u0022 title=\u0022Volunteer Anti-Bullying and Harassment Policy \u0026amp; Procedures\u0022\u003EVolunteer Anti-Bullying and Harassment Policy\u003C/a\u003E\u003C/li\u003E\n\u003C/ul\u003E","link":null,"colour":"#f1f1f1","title":"Recap our policies and procedures","image":null,"imageFocus":"","imageId":0,"imageKey":"00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000","imageCrop":"","gridType":"card","gtmId":"","gtmClass":""},{"type":"Promo","cta":"Read how to talk about overdue learning","body":"\u003Cp\u003EFive additional tips when having a conversation about overdue learning, and how to encourage volunteers to continue on their learning journey.\u003C/p\u003E","link":{"name":"Encouraging volunteers to continue on their learning journey","id":null,"url":"/volunteers/running-things-locally/tools-to-support-leadership-teams/encouraging-volunteers-to-continue-on-their-learning-journey/","newWindow":false,"target":null},"colour":"#f1f1f1","title":"Talking about overdue learning","image":null,"imageFocus":"","imageId":0,"imageKey":"00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000","imageCrop":"","gridType":"card","gtmId":"","gtmClass":""},{"type":"Promo","cta":"Give your feedback","body":"\u003Cp\u003ELet us know if this webpage is useful for you, and if you have suggestions to make it better.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C/p\u003E","link":{"name":null,"id":null,"url":"https://app.smartsheet.com/b/form/9c6168ed399346aab0319f2a5347b693","newWindow":false,"target":"_blank"},"colour":"#002f6c","title":"Is this webpage helpful?","image":null,"imageFocus":"","imageId":0,"imageKey":"00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000","imageCrop":"","gridType":"card","gtmId":"","gtmClass":""}]}],"config":null}]},"prev":null,"next":{"link":"/volunteers/running-things-locally/tools-to-support-leadership-teams/constructive-conversations/during-the-conversation/","title":"During the conversation"},"allParts":[{"link":"/volunteers/running-things-locally/tools-to-support-leadership-teams/constructive-conversations/prepare-for-the-conversation/","title":"Prepare for the conversation"},{"link":"/volunteers/running-things-locally/tools-to-support-leadership-teams/constructive-conversations/during-the-conversation/","title":"During the conversation"},{"link":"/volunteers/running-things-locally/tools-to-support-leadership-teams/constructive-conversations/after-the-conversation/","title":"After the conversation"}],"link":"/volunteers/running-things-locally/tools-to-support-leadership-teams/constructive-conversations/prepare-for-the-conversation/","id":47207,"nodeName":"Prepare for the conversation","title":"Prepare for the conversation","type":"codexPart","image":{"url":"/media/12108/fdl-hp.jpg?width=800\u0026height=450\u0026v=1dab8e1b20252a0","caption":"Scouts purple logo","type":"jpg","size":93039,"width":1268,"height":664,"altText":"An image of a purple background showing the white Scouts logo"},"assets":null,"headerOptions":{"headerTitle":"Prepare for the conversation","headerSubTitle":null,"headerCta":null,"headerCtaText":null,"headerCtaLink":null,"headerBackgroundColour":null,"showSEOImage":false,"headerBackgroundImage":null,"quickLinks":null},"searchDescription":"Tips to help you prepare for difficult conversations and make them as successful as possible.","subHeader":"Tips to help you prepare for difficult conversations and make them as successful as possible.","browserTitle":null,"silktide":"eyJjbXMiOiJVbWJyYWNvIiwiZWRpdG9yVXJsIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9wcm9kLWNtcy5zY291dHMub3JnLnVrLy91bWJyYWNvIy9jb250ZW50L2NvbnRlbnQvZWRpdC80NzIwNyJ9","canonicalUrl":"https://www.scouts.org.uk/volunteers/running-things-locally/tools-to-support-leadership-teams/constructive-conversations/prepare-for-the-conversation/"}